Miss Newman Isn't Human! by Dan Gutman

Author:Dan Gutman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-12-07T00:00:00+00:00

“HUH?”

I knew the answer to that one.

“Weather wants its privacy because it’s always changing!” I shouted. “Get it?”

“That’s right!” said Miss Newman. “Three points! You are really good at this game, A.J.”

“Thank you!” I said, sticking my tongue out at Andrea. In her face!

“It’s not fair!” Andrea shouted. “These questions are just silly!”

Andrea is such a sore loser. Now I had three points, and everybody else had nothing. This was the greatest day of my life.

“Let’s move on to the next question,” said Miss Newman. “Is it hard for gusts of wind to talk to each other?”

“HUH?”

I didn’t know the answer to that one.

“No, it’s a breeze!” shouted Andrea.

“Right!” said Miss Newman. “Andrea gets a point. Three-to-one.”

Andrea stuck her tongue out at me.

“Next question,” said Miss Newman. “Why don’t meteorologists like going out to dinner on the moon?”

“HUH?”

I slapped my head. I didn’t know that one either.

“Because there’s no atmosphere!” shouted Andrea.

“Correct!” said Miss Newman. “That’s another point for Andrea. You’re catching up. It’s three-to-two now.”

Andrea smiled the smile she smiles to let everybody know she knows something nobody else knows.

“Next question,” said Miss Newman. “What does a meteorologist order in a Tex-Mex restaurant?”

“HUH?”

“Chili!” shouted Andrea.

“Yes!” said Miss Newman. “Very good, Andrea! Now it’s all tied up at three-to-three. It’s time for the tiebreaker. This will be the last question. If A.J. gets this one right, he will be the winner. If Andrea gets it right, she will be the winner.”

Everybody was looking at me and Andrea. There was electricity in the air.

Well, not really. If there was electricity in the air, we would have all been electrocuted. But everybody was glued to their seats.

Well, not really. Why would anybody glue themselves to a seat? They’d get glue on their pants. Then they’d have to take the pants to a dry cleaner. But everybody was on pins and needles.

Well, not really. We were sitting on chairs. If we were on pins and needles, it would have hurt.

But it was really exciting! You should have been there! I had to beat Andrea.

“Okay, here’s the last question,” said Miss Newman. “What is the opposite of a hurricane?”

“HUH?”

The opposite of a hurricane? There’s no opposite of a hurricane! “Up” is the opposite of “down.” “Big” is the opposite of “little.” But there’s no opposite of a hurricane. The opposite of a hurricane would be no hurricane.

“No hurricane!” shouted Emily.

“Sorry, but that’s wrong,” said Miss Newman.

Hmmm. I looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Michael. Michael looked at Neil. Neil looked at Alexia. Alexia looked at me. Everybody was looking at each other. Nobody knew the answer.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast. I was concentrating so hard that my brain hurt. I didn’t want Andrea to win.

Then it hit me.

“The opposite of a hurricane,” Andrea and I shouted at the exact same time, “is a himmicane!”

“That’s right!” Miss Newman yelled. “You both get a point. A.J. and Andrea both win the prize!”

Everybody started yelling and screaming and shrieking and hooting and hollering and freaking out.

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